In the last episode, I discuss why I developed a “pull method” for more productive relationships along with the first phase. In this episode, I’ll cover the next two phases.
2. Now that you have your relationships list, go down the list and mark each person with symbols representing whether you feel good or not when they come into mind. I use + or – signs, or or , for my symbols. Not good includes however you define it but typically encompasses for me annoyance, frustration, indifference and dislike. Follow that exercise with placing an asterisk next to contacts with whom you must have a relationship. Perhaps I’ll explain my thoughts on how I perform this data collection and analyze this data on a more granular level in a future episode. Some thoughts to ponder: what is the ratio of must relationships to positive symbol ones? Are there more not-good than feel-good contacts on your list? Does the happiness of the people you listed correlate to your relative happiness in life?
3. Moving onto the final phase of the pull method, take your list and filter to two new lists: one for your feel-good’s and one for your not-good but must-have relationships. Now, for your feel-good’s, plan ways in which you can see those people more (yes, in real life), deepen your relationships and generally show your appreciation for having them in your life…ergo, pull them closer to you! For the must-have’s, put together a plan to increase positive interactions and carefully but steadily address the aspects of these relationships that make it not-good. Remember, some of these things that you don’t like in your must-have relationships are likely present in your feel-good relationships as well; I’d start with confronting the issues in the not-good must-have relationships before backtracking to those of the feel-good’s.
There you have it! The pull method for more productive relationships.